When the alarm goes off in the morning do you jump out of bed eagerly awaiting the day ahead, or do you wake up with a crushing feeling of responsibility or overwhelm in anticipation of what is to come?

Many years ago, when I was in a job I resented, I hated waking up early. In fact, I would go as far as saying, I had dubbed myself as not a morning person. Yet as soon as I went on this incredible holiday, I willingly woke up at 5.30am just to see the sun rise by the sea! Madness! I couldn't have possibly changed identity in 24 hrs and yet it was exactly that. The version of me that was happy WANTED to wake up and embrace the beauty of the moment.

With that said, perhaps you have no alarm at all and have synched your life to be exactly how you thought it would be once you made it to the top.

However, in all the years I have worked with leaders, CEOs and celebrities the most common thread I see when they come to me, is it doesn't matter how successful they are, somehow the life they built now came with a crushing sense of stress built underneath.

Pressure of deadlines, pressure of juggling young children and the logistics of family life. Work life balance, quality time with a partner. Maybe even the pressure of the job itself they once wanted so badly but now, secretly wished they could retire from.

How many of us can really say we love what we do?

Now don't get me wrong, some of my clients absolutely do, so for them it's not about escaping the job but rather escaping the pressure that inevitably arrives no matter what you do.

There will always be difficult conversation, or a financial decision to make that could cost you millions or perhaps your child needs you the exact moment you are about to close a really important deal however it isn't what life presents you with that is the issue, it is the way you handle it internally and the speed with which you can switch that pressure off once it arrives, that varies enormously.

Just like a sat nav whose destination you put it in, doesn't judge the wrong turn you took, it simply recalculates the route, similarly the way we handle the pressure that presents itself reveals the coping pattern we have developed that is unique to each and everyone of us.

Do you simply re-route without judging yourself too much? Or do you feel that the whole journey may be a mistake and panic about what turn to take next?

My Fingerprint Theory explains exactly this. Your unique experiences, the meaning you attach to them and the coping mechanisms you put in place to overcome them shapes every decision you make in your life today.

Now this doesn't mean the aim is to be void of emotions, quite the opposite, it's about approaching difficulties with a healthy dose of understanding why you may have gone off track, why you reacted emotionally the way you did under pressure.

The difference is you can honour the feelings without spiralling into days of frustration that may then be taken out on your family or even internally with days of self-criticism or disappointment that ruins what could otherwise have been a wonderful week.

When you are at the top of your field, the stakes are often much higher. What if the wrong decision costs your company millions, what if leaving a job to pursue your dream means financial decline what if divorcing a partner means you can never see your children again?

This is the voice I want to talk about more openly

At an Executive level, feeling safe to share what is going on behind closed doors becomes extremely difficult. Yet this is exactly what makes you human and this is the very thing that needs addressing, your humanity beyond the boardroom.

The reason this is so difficult is because at heart we are wired for survival. Back in the caveman days being rejected from the tribe meant certain death out in the wilderness, you did whatever it took to be accepted into that tribe.

Similarly, as a child you would also have adapted in whichever way you could, to receive love from your parents because as a baby you would literally die if you were not taken care of.

So here is the all-important question. How did you do it?

Perhaps you became the A student always seeking approval.

Maybe you discovered being ill meant your mum stayed home to look after you or perhaps you were the child in detention all the time because guess what? That would definitely have got your parents attention, or maybe the thing you craved the most, which was being cared of, was not available to you, so instead you gave it to everyone else.

Now think about these patterns in your current world.

When a problem lands on your desk, do you solve it by:

• Working harder and never switching off?
• Always choose something completely radical that often shocks people?
• Make decisions but feel ill for days after?
• Or perhaps you look after everyone else in your team to the determent of yourself

Can you see how patterns (although I have stated some more extreme examples here) shape your very decisions?

So what is the solution?

In my opinion it lies with authenticity.

This doesn't mean you need to tell everyone your deepest thoughts in a Monday board meeting.

It just means knowing yourself enough to not react blindly from your survival patterns

Trace your patterns understand them, make them your friend.

You can then lead from that place.

You may not have all the answers and life as I say, will always be life, whether at work or at home, but when you make your decisions from an authentic place, you won't carry the heaviness of shutting down your inner voice.

Now imagine leading from that place?

This Weeks Executive Reflection

When something challenging comes up this week ask yourself:

Am I taking the time to respond authentically or am I working harder, feeling ill about it, ignoring it or maybe trying to keep everyone happy?

Try to spot the pattern behind the decision.

Awareness of our patterns is the first and most powerful step we can all take to lead with integrity, for our team, the public and more importantly for ourselves